quick post.

aileen and me. photo taken last week. haggard! tired and exhausted here.

when we are lazy to walk some more steps, we eat here at Genki Cafe which is just at the ground floor of Sanctuarium. we love their Tonkatsu rice topping and Kani Salad. :) for a change from the usual fastfood.

i just stayed home today. :) can't believe that another week is about to end. it's nice to be home alone.. i just realized how hard it is to have ten people under one roof!!! it just gets too noisy at times and you can't help it. when im older, i want a small family. :) im not a fan of big groups. even when it come to friends. it's HOT again today. nothing new. and i don't know whether to stay in the room or outside. i just kept wandering here and finally decided to have a long bath without using the heater. and that made me feel better. :) we cooked spaghetti here at home, and i fixed my table. saw some of my handouts and notes during college and missed the old days. :) when the sun was about to set, and it's okay to walk outside, i went to Yogi Haus with Dus and had some frozen yogurt. :) yummy!! :)

till here. church tonight. :) bye!!

then there's this...

intruder.

who do nothing

but think of herself.

no matter what it takes...

as long as she can benefit

from it.

i really

abhor her.

i tried many many times

to learn

to forgive,

to be kind,

to reach out.

but no,

i can't do it.

most especially

when i see her

hurt the people

i love.

she wants to be

the top of everything.

but i don't admire

nor look up to her

at all.

why?

because no matter

how many things

you know,

money you have,

expensive your clothes are,

you are still full of

pride.

and i don't see any

love in your heart.

you annoy me.

get into my nerves,

and i find you real ugly.

i hate you.

so sick,

and tired of you.

it's always been you.

you destroyed

a lot already,

and i won't let this

go on any longer.

getting my thoughts out

So here i go...

spent three days at the Sanctuarium with my cousins. visitors are few during daytime. so we spend time talking about just anything. time is fast when you're there. i wonder why. when people come, the same stories are told, same questions answered.

on Sunday afternoon at 2pm, we left Sanctuarium and headed to Manila Memorial Park in Dasmarinas, Cavite for the burial. we walked twice. family and friends walked alongside our family. and i saw just how everyone's support comforted the family. the service was quick, and was done within an hour.

these past few days, im spending time with Aileen. we are finding some important documents at their home that are necessary to transact some things like cancelling credit cards, paying bills and transferring of funds.

yesterday, my Dad was rushed to the emergency room because of hypertension. his blood pressure went up to 180!! =( i was so afraid and im not even home to go to the hospital right away. i felt so helpless and terrified. =( my brother was with him, and after 1 hour, the doctor sent him home and gave him meds and advised him to rest. can you do me a favor? please pray for him. thanks.

it's so HOT!! the dams are drying up, power running out which results to rotating brownouts, and plants are dying too. i can't imagine that it's been three months without rain! while it's still snowing on some parts of the globe. earthquakes are everywhere too. i receive news via text everyday and hear about earthquakes. you probably heard about the 8.8 magnitude quake at Chile last Saturday. it's scary. it's stronger than the one in Haiti. but both brought great damage. when that happens here, im sure buildings will collapse right away. *sigh* the end is really near. i don't think we still have 20 more years. 10 maybe? or 5? well, who can tell. nobody knows.

guess i'll stop here. i'll lie down and rest for awhile before going to church for the prayer meeting tonight. it's been awhile too.

thanks for your time, friends. :)

So Sudden.

on my way home Tuesday afternoon, i got a call that my auntie will not be able to come to our house because her husband, Uncle Wilson, is so sick and they need to bring him to the hospital. but we didn't know that it was so serious.

when we arrived the emergency room of UDMC (because it's the nearest hospital from their home), i saw many doctors and nurses surrounding his bed. IVs dripping.. giving him oxygen to help him breathe.. and many other wires that i don't know what for. he went in for a CT scan, and when the result came, the doctor said that a vein was ruptured, and the blood spread all throughout his brain. the place cannot be operated. and there's no way he can make it. =( he was transferred to the ICU and stayed there during the night.

the next morning, my cousin Aileen went to stay with him. the hospital doesn't allow anyone even relatives to stay in the ICU unless it's during the visiting hours. so she stayed at the waiting area. then the nurse came out and informed her that her dad's heartbeat is so fast and has fever at 42C!! it's the first time i heard someone with a temp so high! we later earned that the vein that was ruptured is the one in control of the body temperature. after awhile, the doctor said that the patient is unstable again. they tried to resuscitate him for 45minutes but the line in the monitor remains flat. he breathed his last, then he's gone. at 54years old. =( i wasn't there when it happened. only my cousin, her mom, my dad, and Uncle Ramon.

it's all so sudden. he didn't made it even for a day. =( he has highblood.. maybe that's why the vein ruptured. he also survived two strokes before.

we are not close personally, but i also have some good memories with him. he loves plants and animals. when you go to their house, there's dogs, birds, fishes, hamsters, rabbits, and a snake. it's like a mini zoo. ;) in their rooftop, you'll find different kind of plants and many orchids. :) im sad. but my heart really breaks for my Auntie Alice and my cousins. especially Aileen. =( we stayed at Sanctuarium last night and while she was telling me what happened in the hospital and some memories of her dad, tears were flowing and my heart broke into pieces. =( i love her so much and it's sad that i can't do anything that would lessen her pain. =(

today.. im blogging from Sanctuarium since there's free wifi and no visitors are around. i arrived this morning with my cousin Joy along with Erwin. i think we'll stay here till tonight. and they will be sleeping in our house. please pray for them. especially during this time.. when our words can't really do anything. but i believe that God is able to give them peace and comfort.

thanks.

Love Happens

You're stuck. You can't move forward because you got your eyes on the rear-view mirror.

Dear John

"Two weeks together... That's all it took.

Two weeks for me to fall for you.

I miss you so much it hurts.."

last Saturday, after a hearty lunch at Cibo, i was able to watch this movie with my bestfriend and her sister. :) among Sparks' novels, Dear John is the one i love most (i read it three times!). :) was the movie exactly the same as the novel? of course not. that would be impossible. but they were close, and they were able to capture the spirit of the story and the spirit of the characters. :)

his latest novel, The Last Song, is also being adapted into a movie too. it debuts on April 2. im looking forward to watching it. :)

tonight

is a great night.

talking

walking

..just being with you. :)

was sick last week. literally everything in me, aches. but somehow, i managed to attend the funeral services on Wednesday and Saturday nights which was held by the Sunday School people and Student Group respectively.

a lot of people shared during Wednesday night - Sis. June, Bro. Robert, Sis. Helen, Sis. Gloria, Ruth, Rachel, Lindsey, Timmy, Sis. Judy, Sis. Omega, and Sis. Elizabeth. everyone shared their memories with Sien Si and i was moved to tears as i listened to each one. it made me come to know her better and realized how fleeting life is. that it's not what we have, but how we touch other people's lives which really matters.

on Saturday, i had the chance to share a few words at the wake. a lot of people was there. so many familiar faces too. and yesterday afternoon, they brought her remains at the Manila Memorial in Sucat. it's sad. but as everyone said, this is not a goodbye. because one day, i know that we will see each other again. and in that, i find comfort. :)

***

it's a Monday again. im glad it's almost over. i don't know what's with Mondays but i really don't like it. it's always back to. back to something we do normally. for my brothers, it's back to school. for me, it's back to work. which i don't really love. sigh.

im feeling much better now than last week. still have stuffy nose. but fever is all gone. thank God. :) tomorrow im going to undergo a test to check something. and sometime this week, im going to see a doctor again. please include me in your prayers. :)

during my free time, im reading again my book - Three Weeks With My Brother by (no other than) Nicholas Sparks. im a fan, i know you know that by now. :) im halfway through it, and it's really a GREAT book. :) i can read it over and over again. he's coming up with a new book again later this year. :) im excited. :)

im off to bed now. goodnight folks. :)

recap.

a lot of things happened yesterday...

my friend, Grace, is a big fan of Kim and Gerald. so last December, she was telling me about a movie that the two are going to make and that she wants us to watch it. yup, i know you know and heard about the movie - Paano Na Kaya. ;) it's been a long time since i've watched a Filipino movie. im not fond of watching the telly either. id rather sleep. hehe. so came Saturday, and we went to the mall early in the morning and bought tickets for the movie.

her two sisters, Joy and Hannah joined us too. :) but Joy didn't watched the movie. we had lunch together at Sbarro - baked zitti in white and tomato sauce, two slices of white pizza, cream of mushroom soup, and raspberry iced tea. we were full. ;) after lunch, we went to the movie house already and got a good seat. :) it ran for almost two hours. i rarely appreciate a Filipino flick because of same storylines, but in all fairness, i can say that the movie is a good one. :) i won't spill it here, just watch for yourself. :) but if you're like my cousin, who'd rather wait for a DVD copy, wait for awhile then. :)

i saw some trailers of movies coming up. im looking forward to seeing Dear John. it's a novel by Nicholas Sparks that's been adapted into a movie just like The Notebook, A walk To Remember, Nights In Rodanthe, and Message In A Bottle.. and it's one of my favorite books!! :) it's showing next week, February 5. :)

after dinner, though i am really tired, i attended church. and.. you know what happened next.

***

on other news, my Uncle and his wife came here this Monday (which was supposed to be last Saturday but was delayed because he got sick) for a visit before returning to the States again. they went to Taiwan to buy some things that they need for the church, and came here for awhile before going home again.

i entertained them while they stayed in our house. :)

and he was kind enough to reformat my really sick and slow computer. i saved some of my files in Drive D because this is what everyone told me to do.. and some in USBs. when he finished doing my computer, changing it from Windows Vista to the more simple Windows XP, voila! all my files in Drive D are erased!! haaayy. :( all my schoolworks, some pictures, the soft copy of our thesis, are all there. :( well.. im done being sad with it. because i know no matter what i do, i can't take it back anymore. but i can say that im so pleased with how fast my comp is running now. :) makes the things get done easier and faster. :) BUT! (another but) i don't have a picture editor! i can't crop, edit, adjust my pictures. and that. is. sad. anybody knows where i can get one? thanks in advance! :)

they are currently based in San Jose, California and they are telling me stories on how different life is there from what we have here. obviously, it's so overcrowded here. well, at least here in Binondo. from the time you set foot outside your house, you'll see people and cars everywhere. and im sick of it!! i wanna go somewhere else. in their place, is where people go to work. Yahoo, Google, and all these computer companies are just a walk away from their home. houses are far from each other too. unlike here where people literally live above each other's houses - condos. they drive to get somewhere, while we usually walk here. one thing that's good here? the food. haha! i can't live eating burgers everyday. and for that, im still thankful. :)

***

this morning during our Sunday School, all the teachers wore white. and it's really sad. you can see some crying.. while other eyes are so puffed from crying the night before. Sis. May Hwa, or Sien Si Bi Hwa (as i call her), is one of the great teachers in Sunday School. she has a BIG heart for everyone. and it's still sad to know that from today on, every Sunday, i won't be seeing her anymore. :(

i came home earlier and didn't finished the youth fellowship because i felt that im having a fever.. and im right. so after taking meds, i slept for awhile while waiting for Grace to finish the prayer small group at church. after that, we went to Sanctuarium together with Koo and Candy to visit. a lot of people were there too.

im home now. i didn't joined my family in a birthday party tonight because i don't feel well yet. my head aches. my body aches. i have sorethroat too. but my temperature is normal at 37.3. finishing this now.. and will sleep already.

tomorrow is a start of a new month and we're saying bye bye to January already. fast.

goodnight people! :) hope to hear from you too soon. :)

Big Loss

i am so SAD. :(

just tonight during our church meeting, i received a text message and learned that my piano teacher, Sis. May Hwa, went to be with the Lord already. :( i called to confirm it, and it's true.

i just couldn't believe it. even now as i type this. it's just so sudden.

she's such a joyful person. she's a big loss to everyone around her. :(

we lost a mother, a grandmother, a teacher, a sister, and a friend. :(

please pray for her family. may God comfort them during this hard time. :(

One Sunday

i love weekends :) this morning, my cousin Joy and i played the piano and keyboards during the youth fellowship. our songs were Throne of Praise, My Jesus I Love Thee, and How Great is Our God. :) after lunch, we got a haircut together at Hair 101 and ate ice creams. :) can you see a change? ;)

this week i read a new book - Till Debt Do Us Part: Practical Steps to Financial Freedom by Chinkee Tan. i just saw it in my grandmother's table and started reading it. and finished it in two days! :) fast for me since i only read during free time. it's a good read and i highly recommend it for everyone, even teens can read it because it is simple and practical. :) here are some points from the book i'd like to share:

- it is not how much money you make, but how much money you save.
- if you work hard now, you will play later. if you play now, you will pay later.
- people fail to budget because of laziness and lack of discipline.
- they get into debt because they spend tomorrow's income today and are unwilling to change lifestyle when circumstances have changed.

he also shared some personal experiences. :) he said that people get into debt because of their wrong attitude toward money which is greed, worry, and false security.

well, try to read it! im sure you'll learn a lot. :) it also gave me a new perspective with money. :)

the youngest among my cousins, Hannah, is up with a fever now. :( i hope she gets better so she can go to school tomorrow. bye for now friends. :)

hello 2010.

happy new year! :) another year has passed again and 2009 has been a mixture of both joy and pain. a lot of changes took place in my life during the past year, and despite all the trials, God has been faithful and carried me through. :) i attended the four-day youth winter conference at Pampanga last December 27-30. it was great and im glad that i was able to go. :) i will share more when i have time. :)

my family went to Fontana today and will stay for a night, but i didn't go so i can attended church today. some brothers and sisters shared testimonies on how God led them last year. :) after church, i played badminton with a friend on our penthouse. :) the sky is so beautiful while we were playing! it's a mixture of blue and red. loved it :)

two more days and life goes back to normal. but then, im changed forever. :)

my hands are full, but so is my heart. ♥

goodnight! :)